or: low place like home

things I love + hate about this state.

loves:

1. nature: okay, 3 hrs west of me I’m in the blue ridge mountains, and 2 hrs south I’m at the Atlantic Ocean. you can tell its the Atlantic because there’s Dolphin pods you can see in the distance. large bodies of water tend to look very similar. like this could be Lake Michigan if it wasn’t for the foam and the waves.
2. my crazy rich asian sister has a beach house that’s newly built in the outer banks. not some phony ass one either this ones legit, has a pool, and is high up above the ground. commanding a respectable view. its about $3,000+/week if I were to rent it. I just added this to brag and rub it in your face a bit, hah hah.
3. weather: well, so long Chicago winters. the locals here complain about 60 degree weather like thats cold. they don’t even know what real winter is. some of the locals don’t own actual winter gear, jackets, and go around in T-shirts or shorts even. some of them don’t even turn on heat just to save. it does get too hot most summers. I’ve never actually seen a place where its intensely hot throughout the day and gets strangely cool at night, but that’s how it can be here.
4. people: its a cardinal sin not to say hi to one another here. also, people even wave at one another in their cars. you can expect a modicum of warm and personable throughout the state. its a good vibe when you’re coming back home or leaving via RDU (international airport). have you seen the depressed, miserable, hateful looks of the zombies who operate OHR? (O’Hare international). scary! very scary.
5. self sustainability: it’s perfectly normal here to grow your own vegetables + buy eggs locally from your neighbors. my mother has a chicken coop with 12 chickens in it. so it saves when it comes to eggs. I’ve grown zuckinni, cucumbers, jalepenos, basil, and eggplant thus far.
6. hiking: there’s more beautiful hiking options within a 10-20 mile radius from my crib than the entire state of Illinois has or even the midwest itself.
7. southern breakfast spots: Biscuitville, rise biscuits, anywhere with biscuits. also, I’ve been searching my whole life for Bob Evans and they have those here too. back in IL I’d always wondered where tf is Bob Evans?
8. respectful kids: if I took a youtube video about how the children operate here, it would probably go viral. when I first got here, kids said hello in a friendly manner. not like the little shits in big cities who talk crass + trash. its refreshing to say the least. I saw a young boy who was pumping gas for his mother, couldn’t be 9-10. never seen that until now I have to admit. also, the kids in NC play outdoors like most kids ought to do. instead of rotting in a vegetative state like thats normal.

hates

1. pests: snakes, there’s snakes in this state. some are good, like rat snakes. they’re all black and chill. I should know its the first one I met and it did nothing to my dog. then there’s deer, which cause major accidents and spread ticks throughout the state. not to mention destroys gardens and attracts coyotes. then there’s ticks to worry about when you hike. more prevalent here because of the heavy forested terrain. you have to check yourself regularly throughout the summer, little shits can get somewhere on you and in you easily. oh and spiders, its known to have some dangerous ones (fortunately haven’t met any, yet).
3. cops: bored, small town cops with low IQ. they just want to dole out speeding tickets. especially if you’re not or don’t look like you’re home grown with a southern drawl. also, they don’t actually do any legit police work whatsoever. thus b/c they’re super aggressive everybody has to drive like a student driver here.
3. Chapel Hill: most overly hyped place on earth. over saturated with rich, pretentious, snobby shitlib yuppies. they even have a poet laureate who writes poetry about the town. just to give you an idea of how self important and narcissistic it truly is. its a glorified, wannabe Evanston IL at best. also, they have a deer overpopulation/infestation. none of their restaurants except two really matters. one being a legit Thai restaurant, the other? a fancy biscuit place.
4. food options: Mexican food is considered exotic here. they do have a plethora of decent Italian, but I’m from Chicago so Italian doesn’t impress this. though I do have to admit some of the ones found are better than Chicago ones actually. I got excited finding a Filipino restaurant near me. which is quite unusual for this state. I have to travel an hour for the sole Hmart of the entire NC. its not fun going there on weekends either.
5. stupid taxes: you have to pay property taxes on vehicles, which is retarded.
6. local job market: unless you’re doing Lyft, Door Dash, or working Walmart here isn’t a local job economy here. despite stories bragging that there is. you have to have a remote job to exist here.
7. robocall hellscape: you know what this means.
8. panic buyers: the moment a hint of bad weather, everybodies clearing out the shelves like the zombie apocalypse is coming.
9. rain: the rain is so heavy here it obfuscates vision. its already dangerous enough just driving around with the local crazies as is.
10. this should be #1: lack of decent pizza. well, there are some that serves edible pizza, but nothing slightly Chicago level.
11. east coasters: they talk too damned much and love the sound of their own voices. but are shallow and uninteresting. they remind me of Californian’s in a way only not as chill and stupid. not as conversational or socially warm as Midwesterners. they seem like they talk about the dumbest shit you could imagine endlessly. and drive like they have diarrhea or something and need to run somebody over.
12. nosy neighbors: if I were living in a big city and you were telling me details about my weekly/daily existence, you’re a definite stalker creepy person. I mean how can you have time to notice anything I’m doing? We should all be invisible to one another. but here the people can’t help themselves to study every damned thing you’re doing 24/7. they think that’s normal. I think it stems from them being complete gossips really (which they are).
13. haters gonna hate: while the fake, stupid NC people pretend to be pleasant, endearing, charming just go on any NC message board. they shit talk all the yanks/northerners like we’re all ruining their precious little state. to which I might add: LMFAO. let’s be real and truthful for a NY minute here: if we hadn’t migrated here, there’d be no damned economy to speak of. prior to tech opening up shop here there’s fast food nation, Lowes, Mcky D’s, Hooters, and mall rat jobs. nothing beyond this.
14. slow to change: with a huge influx of peeps who have infiltrated and settled here, the local small town vibe cannot adapt to the new rapid fire changes.